I'm not that good at knitting. At least with almost 20 years of knitting experience under my belt, I am surprisingly not that good. I've met people who have been knitting for a few months, and they can knit circles around me. My friends and family think that I'm talented because they don't know any better.

I "learned" how to knit in 7th grade, around 2004. What inspired me to learn was Hermione in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix when she started knitting clothes to free the elves haha. I had no money of my own, so I asked my parents to buy me a knitting book on a whim on one of our trips to Barnes & Noble. It was the only knitting book I saw: a hefty, non kid-friendly, extremely advanced book with vintage pictures. With a pair of size 10 aluminum Boye needles and some yarn I got from my school's art class (scratchy, rainbow acrylic yarn), I taught myself incorrectly how to knit.

I had the feeling I was doing it wrong because my stockinette stitch didn't look like the pictures. Stockinette stitch is what people usually think of when they think of knitting--clean lines of V's. My V's were more like--how should I explain this?--when you do a peace sign with your fingers, it's a nice V like regualar stockinette. My V's were more like when you cross your fingers for good luck. But I kept on knitting like that cause it seemed like I was doing everything else right. I even made an entire, full-length Gryffindor scarf with that wonky stitch. It wasn't until high school when I had access to YouTube that I decided to relearn how to knit. I watched how to stick the needle into the stitch and figured out I was sticking it in the wrong way all these years -_-

For the rest of my teens and the majority of my 20s, I didn't make anything nice or memorable. I made gifts and little things, but I hated following patterns, so those were freestyle and not very good. After several years of hiatus, I picked up my needles again when I was pregnant with my daughter to make her a white bear ear hat (again from freestyle). At this point in my life, I was past the tumultuous college years, past the "first adult job" phase, and entering into the getting settled and starting a family phase, so I was stable enough to explore my hobbies. Enter my crochet journey.

I wasn't new to crochet. I actually taught myself (correctly) when I was in high school. My best friend and I were watching Into the Wild, and a lady gave a handmade hat to the main character. My friend jokingly told me to make it for her. In my mind, I knew she wasn't serious, but it'd be cool if I surprised her with it later. I rewatched the scene over and over (on DVD) to figure out the yarn and style. I realized it was crocheted and not knitted, so I had to learn to crochet. I ended up making it for her, and of course she didn't remember her joke, but she liked the hat anyway. I didn't pick up my crochet hook again until 12 years later. Enter March 2020.

When covid-19 raged across the world, I was one of the lucky ones, so I am truly grateful. I was able to work remotely, so I stayed home and experienced quarantine. I never went through the sourdough-making phase, but I dabbled in the Dalgona/whipped coffee phase. And the moment I entered the "knitting/crochet" phase, I stayed there forever.

With all this free time on my hands, I finally decided that it was time to actually get good at my craft. I had a small stash of odd-colored yarn that I collected over the years. My plan was to work through that stash and actually make myself follow a pattern. I obviously didn't learn anything from teaching myself, so I picked specific patterns that would teach me new skills and how to do things properly: eyelets, ruffles, front post double crochet, weaving in ends, left & right leaning decreases, etc.

Why I call this time my crochet phase is because I discovered the beauty and flexibility of crochet. With knitting, you need a specific needle for every given scenario. For example, if you need size 7 (4.5mm) needles, some patterns will also require it in straight needles, double-pointed needles, and circular needles in every length. Even if you got interchangeable needles, you would still need the short and regular needle and all the different length cords to go with it. With crochet, however, if you need a size 7 (4.5mm) hook, that's all you need. I didn't want to buy any new products to get started again, but with knitting and getting the proper gauge, it would require a lottt of new needles to do things properly this time. So natually, I was drawn to crochet patterns.

During that time, I crocheted 2 1/2 cardigans (half of one failed, and I abandoned it), 3 beanies, 2 tank tops, 4 headbands, 9 baskets, 8 coasters, and a crossbody bag. I knitted a toddler sweater, tank top, cowl, toddler beanie, and 25 teenie beanies. Most of those were experiments so that I could learn a new skill. The teenie beanies were Christmas gifts.

If all of this sounds a bit obsessive, it's because it is! I'm obsessed with this hobby. Addicted, actually. I'm a maker at heart, so I'm so grateful for a hobby that I can look forward to everyday where I can express myself and feel productive. This is my crafting journey (and I didn't even get to mention my jewelry making, weaving, macrame, woodworking, and sewing phases yet). By no means am I an expert in this field. I can only share my experiences, and I think it's helpful to see an everyday amateur try things out, make mistakes, keep going, and make progress. I hope that you reflect on your journey and get inspired to pick up those needles and hooks and start a new project today!